A Look at Forgiveness: David & Shimei

2005051

Topic # 1165 (forgiveness)

Introduction:

A.     2 Samuel 16 – David’s life has reached it’s greatest low point.

1.      He has never been lower – ever.

2.      Only time near this depth – Saul was pursuing him before he became King.

B.     David sinned w/Bathsheba & that set off a chain reaction:

1.      Child he conceived w/Bathsheba – died.

2.      12:10-12 – all of that come true. Family turned on him; Absalom, his son usurped the throne, raped his wives, and David fled for his life.

3.      some believe this is when David penned Psa. 40:1-2, 12

C.    While David fleeing for his life – a man named Shimei comes out – adding to his misery.

1.      Shimei – who was of the family of Saul, pours out the hate in his heart on a man who at his lowest ebb.

2.      Shimei – basic reprobate – the kind of person who kicks you while you down & out.

a)     hit beneath the belt

b)     blow after blow

D.    16:9 – Abishai – wants to deal w/Shimei.

1.      Abishai – feels he has David’s best interests at heart.

2.      David didn’t have to take that.

3.      David didn’t have to let this worthless fellow walk over him.

4.      David had done nothing to warrant these public assaults.

5.      David now has a choice – exact revenge – or not.

E.     16:10-13 – David refuses to retaliate.

1.      An amazing study of self control.

a)     David at rock bottom – here come s Shimei…kicking him…

2.      But David doesn’t take it personally – he doesn’t even yell.

F.     How could he do that?

1.      Could I do that?

2.      Do we possess a forgiving spirit?

3.      It is one of the most difficult things to acquire.

 

I.  What do we most often do?

A.     Instead of fully forgiving someone – we usually opt for 1 of 3 responses:

B.     We offer conditional forgiveness:

1.      I will forgive you…if…

2.      I will forgive you AS SOON AS…

a)     If you come back & make things right.

b)     As son as you own up to your end of the problem…

4.      In other words, the other person must own up to their end of the problem first – and that determines how we will respond.

C.    We offer partial forgiveness.

1.      I’ll forgive you...but don’t expect me to forget…

2.      I’ll forgive you…just get out of my life…

3.      I’ll forgive you – until it happens again…

D.    We offer delayed forgiveness.

1.      I’ll forgive you …just give me time.

2.      Some time, some day I’ll forgive you…I’ll follow through...

3.      Usually this is the reaction of one deeply hurt.

E.     The fact is, most of us would rather sit on the judgment seat than the mercy seat.

1.      Someone does us wrong – rather watch them squirm in misery – than smile in relief.

2.      Yet forgiveness is not about the other person – it’s about us.

3.      Unforgiveness has a dramatic; downward effect on entire life.

a)     offense leads to resentment

b)     resentment leads to hatred

c)      hatred leads to holding a grudge

d)     grudge leads to revenge

F.     Let’s confess – we probably wrestle w/these issues on a regular basis.

1.      Must not let some offense linger & build into resentment.

2.      Must deal w/it at the offense level – or before we realize it – we’ll be dealing w/revenge.

 

II. David demonstrates complete forgiveness.

A.     2 Samuel 19:16-23

1.      Sometime has passed. Absalom killed – thus removed from the throne – allowing David to return.

2.      Gone from the lowest low – back to mountaintop as king.

3.      Here come Shimei…

B.     19:20 - Shimei – I have sinned.

1.      Wonder if this sounded familiar to David.  W/Nathan?

2.      Forgiveness comes easier when we remember times in our own past – when we failed & were forgiven.

3.      Let’s look at Shimei’s side on this.

C.    How many times have we been in his shoes?

1.      We’ve done stuff that could easily offend someone.

a)     Know what we’ve done was wrong – the balls in our court.

b)     What are we going to do?

2.      How easy is it to seek forgiveness when we were 100% in the wrong?  This is Shimei.

D.    Back to David.

1.      He could have been indifferent.  Could have just ignored….

2.      Indifference is certainly not forgiveness. Indifference is RAGE controlled.

3.      And then there’s Abishai. Deal w/this guy; Make him pay.

4.      But David doesn’t – How?

E.     I think he kept his vertical focus clear.

1.      When someone offends you – take it to God.

2.      Something stabilizing in getting a vertical perspective on a situation before seeking horizontal counsel.

F.     David was very much aware of his own failure.

1.      The humbled forgiven make good forgivers.

2.      Being aware of his shortcomings gave him great patience w/someone else’s wrong doings.

3.      The proud have a hard time forgiving.

a)     Hard time tolerating; understanding; & forgiving the failure of others.

 

III. Sound advice to help us forgive.

A.     We must cultivate a thick layer of skin.

1.      A buffer that takes jolts that come our way.

a)     We need to ask for God’s help on this.

b)     To not be so sensitive, thin-skinned.

c)      To calm our responses – patience w/those who speak quickly.

2.      Js. 1:19

3.      Applying this will keep us on balance – so that the slightest push doesn’t topple us.

B.     Try to understand where the offender is coming from.

1.      Try to find out what is behind their offensive words/behavior.

2.      Sometimes we make things more complicated than they really are.

3.      Could boil down to someone having a bad day.

4.      Chain reaction progression.

a)     What happens when we don’t stay calm & deal honestly & act graciously w/each other.

5.      Lk. 23:34 – putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes often helps us objectify their reaction.

a)     In 1 statement we realize how our Lord viewed His enemies.

C.    Recall times when you have needed forgiveness & then apply the same emotion.

1.      No one is above being human. We can be downright ornery if we not careful.  We all do things to hurt others.

2.      Mt. 7:12 – just as we would wish to be forgiven & treated graciously – so we must treat others!

D.    Verbalize your forgiveness.

1.      Say it – don’t just think it.

a)     Spoken words of forgiveness & graciousness can be therapeutic to the offender – no matter how great/small the offense.

b)     Expressing our feelings removes all feelings of doubt.

2.      But yet our typical response is to do all the wrong things:

a)     silent treatment; resentment

b)     Hold a grudge; become indifferent.

c)      Hold out for revenge.

3.      None of this pleases God & we’re only fooling ourselves if we think it’s going to work.

 

IV. Putting on forgiveness is a must for the Christian.

A.     Rom. 12:14-21

B.     Eph. 4:31-32

C.    Col. 3:12-13

D.    1 Pet. 3:8-9

E.     Mt. 6:14-15

 

Conclusion:

A.     Cultivating a forgiving spirit is a very real problem that everyone wrestles with.

B.     Put yourself in David’s shoes.  Could you have forgiven Shimei?

C.    We need a heart full of forgiveness & grace in our family of relationships:

1)     At work; at school; at home; at church.

2)     We need to put feet to the hope that is within us.

D.    Do you need to take advantage of God’s forgiveness?

E.     I N V I T A T I O N