The Missing Father Figure

The Missing Father Figure

2005015

Topic # 2566 (fatherhood)

Introduction:

A. Statistics are truly frightening.

1. 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.

2. Cohabitation (living together before marriage) has risen by 500% since 1985.

a) People who cohabitate b/f marriage are 82% more likely to divorce than couples who marry w/o first having lived together.

3. 1 of 3 children born in 2005 will be born to an unwed mother.

B. Live in society where the role of father is deemphasized.

1. Inadequacies & shortcomings of the father’s role are highlighted & stressed in pop culture.

2. Look across spectrum of society & see more & more women having children w/o marrying father.

3. Look at observe fathers who leave their families – or do not play a major role in the family to start with.

C. Could the moral decay going on around us be due to the fact that significant #’s of fathers are either physically or spiritually absent in the lives of their children?

D. A successful father is one of the most remarkable persons in society.

1. What is a successful father?

2. Talking about the perfect parent?

a) No.

b) Successful fathers are imperfect parents who acknowledge & accept responsibility for their mistakes.

c) They are comfortable in accepting the fact that they are not superhuman and are not always right & do make mistakes.

E. Encourage every father here to realize just how important you are.

1. How serious your role is – you are the leader of your family.

2. How much you have been blessed by God – w/a family; job; and promise of eternal life.

I. Scripture presents us w/a clear picture of the peril of absentee fatherhood.

A. Scripture brutally honest in documenting how some of God’s greatest servants did not succeed in influencing their children to follow God.

B. Samuel

1. Given to God before he was conceived – was called by God when he was still a child.

a) 1 Sam. 1:11; 3:1-19

3. He provided significant godly leadership in Israel in late period of the judges & much of King Saul’s reign.

4. But yet...one of the basic reasons Israel wanted a king was because his sons were evil – 1 Sam. 8:3, 5.

C. David – no other king was as much a godly influence on the nation as David. A man after God’s own heart.

1. David is a case study in what happens in a fatherless family.

2. Had numerous wives & concubines. Many children.

3. Numerous things distracting him – wars; commerce; building projects; treaty negotiations; entertaining; judging.

4. At end of the day he had little time to spend w/his children.

5. It could be said that David was an absentee father.

6. How many men today are absentee fathers? What are some of the possible effects?

D. The result of David’s absenteeism:

1. 2 Sam. 13 – David’s son Amnon rapes his sister Tamar.

a) 13:21 – David heard and very angry. But only reference to David here.

b) Passive? Was his head somewhere else?

c) Could David be accused of letting his kids raise themselves on their own?

d) Is there any demonstration of parental authority and discipline?

2. Consider what David had provided for his family – physically:

a) Immaculate palace – everything money could buy…

b) THINGS couldn’t solve the relationships of that home.

c) What a nightmare of a palace this must have been!

3. For 2 years Absalom hated Amnon – didn’t speak to him.

4. Eventually Absalom had Amnon assassinated. (13:24-39)

5. 2 Sam. 15 – Absalom tried to overthrow the throne of David.

e) 16:21-22 – Absalom, who killed his brother for rape, publicly raped David’s wives, and almost succeeded in overthrowing David from the throne.

f) 18:1-18 – Absalom dies by the hand of Joab – David’s general.

5. 1 Kings 1-2 - On David’s deathbed – Adonijah tries to take the throne by force, and David has to have Solomon anointed quickly to prevent it.

6. Had David been on top of things in his household – things might have turned out much differently.

F. Solomon.

1. 700 wives; 300 concubines. Don’t know how many children he had.

2. Rehoboam...his son who took over kingdom – lost it because of greed, arrogance, and unwise decisions.

3. Rehoboam lost northern 10 tribes to Jeroboam – son of Nebat.

4. Jeroboam failed to serve God & lost the rest of his family to political terrorism.

G. The lack of fatherly leadership set Israel on a course of death & destruction to which the nation finally passed into history because of rebellion against God.

II. What is a successful father?

A. A successful father loves his children. Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21

1. He communicates his love w/words; kindness; fairness; and touch

2. He builds and nurtures relationships with his children rather than assuming the role of authoritarian.

a) Instead of angering his children by frustrating & irritating them – the successful father guilds his children to an understanding of Christ’s directives & teachings.

B. Successful fathers seek influence – not control.

1. He wants to help his children learn & recover from their mistakes.

2. He realizes that he can live as a positive force in the hearts of his children – even after he dies.

C. Successful fathers have their spiritual lives in order.

1. The father is the spiritual leader of the family.

2. We need men like Joshua who decisively determine that they will serve the Lord. – Josh 24:14-24; esp. 14-15.

a) Can you say this is the case for your family?

3. Seen many cases where wife/mother is the strong one spiritually – while husband/father never seems to get his act together.

a) Could it be that men feel they don’t need religion as much as women?

b) A refusal to accept responsibility for the leadership position that is his?

c) Men always seem to be content to make excuses.

4. God will not accept excuse making for not fulfilling His plan in your life!

a) He demands that you take responsibility for your manner of life.

b) He demands you take responsibility for your passions.

c) He demands that you set the example for your family.

D. Successful fathers are men of dedication.

1. You can get committed. Don’t believe the lie that is so popular today.

2. Make the commitment to be God’s kind of person!

a) You surrender yourself – everything you do in your life – to God’s plan and God’s way.

b) Gal. 2:20

c) Dedicate yourself to be loyal to God no matter what.

3. Be dedicated to God’s plan. Is it your desire to let others see Christ living in you?

4. Be dedicated to God’s people. People in your family & in the church need you!

5. Report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly:

a) 72% of children continue in the faith.

b) Only the father attends – 55% continue

c) Only the mother attends – 15% remain involved in the church.

E. Successful fathers are men of decision.

1. Live your life so it will not be a life full of regret.

2. Joshua (24:15) determined that no matter what he & his family were going to serve God.

3. What will you do? Whom will you choose to serve? When will you choose?

4. How many opportunities have been lost because of indecision?

5. Make the decision NOW to:

d) LEARN the word of God – Psa. 119:9-10

e) LOVE the word of God – Psa. 119:11, 47, 97, 140

f) LIVE the word of God – Psa. 119:17

F. Successful fathers are men of destiny – Phil. 4:9

1. Remember God has a plan for your life. Always be looking/working to live according to His purposes. Live w/a view of Phil. 4:9 in mind.

2. Strive to be a model of courage. Like Joshua.

a) Takes courage to stand up for right values.

b) Takes courage to live according to godly principles & not flinch when it can be so tempting to compromise.

3. Strive to be a model of conviction. Move w/conviction & passion w/the godly & moral things in your life.

a) Keep on following Jesus – never turn your back on Him or doubt the fact that he cares for your soul.

Conclusion:

A. Fathers…may God guide you, strengthen you, and give you wisdom as you accept one of life’s most demanding challenges.

B. Develop the willingness to learn to be a better father in the same manner you want your children to be better sons and daughters.

C. Remember that you should be a person of decision.

1. Have you decided to follow Jesus?

2. If you have previously, how dedicated are you to His cause?

3. Get your spiritual priorities in order.

D. I N V I T A T I O N



The Missing Father Figure 2005015 Topic # 2566 (fatherhood) Introduction: A. Statistics are truly frightening. 1. 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. 2. Cohabitation (living together before marriage) has risen by 500% since 1985. a) People who cohabitate b/f marriage are 82% more likely to divorce than couples who marry w/o first having lived together. 3. 1 of 3 children born in 2005 will be born to an unwed mother. B. Live in society where the role of father is deemphasized. 1. Inadequacies & shortcomings of the father’s role are highlighted & stressed in pop culture. 2. Look across spectrum of society & see more & more women having children w/o marrying father. 3. Look at observe fathers who leave their families – or do not play a major role in the family to start with. C. Could the moral decay going on around us be due to the fact that significant #’s of fathers are either physically or spiritually absent in the lives of their children? D. A successful father is one of the most remarkable persons in society. 1. What is a successful father? 2. Talking about the perfect parent? a) No. b) Successful fathers are imperfect parents who acknowledge & accept responsibility for their mistakes. c) They are comfortable in accepting the fact that they are not superhuman and are not always right & do make mistakes. E. Encourage every father here to realize just how important you are. 1. How serious your role is – you are the leader of your family. 2. How much you have been blessed by God – w/a family; job; and promise of eternal life. I. Scripture presents us w/a clear picture of the peril of absentee fatherhood. A. Scripture brutally honest in documenting how some of God’s greatest servants did not succeed in influencing their children to follow God. B. Samuel 1. Given to God before he was conceived – was called by God when he was still a child. a) 1 Sam. 1:11; 3:1-19 3. He provided significant godly leadership in Israel in late period of the judges & much of King Saul’s reign. 4. But yet...one of the basic reasons Israel wanted a king was because his sons were evil – 1 Sam. 8:3, 5. C. David – no other king was as much a godly influence on the nation as David. A man after God’s own heart. 1. David is a case study in what happens in a fatherless family. 2. Had numerous wives & concubines. Many children. 3. Numerous things distracting him – wars; commerce; building projects; treaty negotiations; entertaining; judging. 4. At end of the day he had little time to spend w/his children. 5. It could be said that David was an absentee father. 6. How many men today are absentee fathers? What are some of the possible effects? D. The result of David’s absenteeism: 1. 2 Sam. 13 – David’s son Amnon rapes his sister Tamar. a) 13:21 – David heard and very angry. But only reference to David here. b) Passive? Was his head somewhere else? c) Could David be accused of letting his kids raise themselves on their own? d) Is there any demonstration of parental authority and discipline? 2. Consider what David had provided for his family – physically: a) Immaculate palace – everything money could buy… b) THINGS couldn’t solve the relationships of that home. c) What a nightmare of a palace this must have been! 3. For 2 years Absalom hated Amnon – didn’t speak to him. 4. Eventually Absalom had Amnon assassinated. (13:24-39) 5. 2 Sam. 15 – Absalom tried to overthrow the throne of David. e) 16:21-22 – Absalom, who killed his brother for rape, publicly raped David’s wives, and almost succeeded in overthrowing David from the throne. f) 18:1-18 – Absalom dies by the hand of Joab – David’s general. 5. 1 Kings 1-2 - On David’s deathbed – Adonijah tries to take the throne by force, and David has to have Solomon anointed quickly to prevent it. 6. Had David been on top of things in his household – things might have turned out much differently. F. Solomon. 1. 700 wives; 300 concubines. Don’t know how many children he had. 2. Rehoboam...his son who took over kingdom – lost it because of greed, arrogance, and unwise decisions. 3. Rehoboam lost northern 10 tribes to Jeroboam – son of Nebat. 4. Jeroboam failed to serve God & lost the rest of his family to political terrorism. G. The lack of fatherly leadership set Israel on a course of death & destruction to which the nation finally passed into history because of rebellion against God. II. What is a successful father? A. A successful father loves his children. Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21 1. He communicates his love w/words; kindness; fairness; and touch 2. He builds and nurtures relationships with his children rather than assuming the role of authoritarian. a) Instead of angering his children by frustrating & irritating them – the successful father guilds his children to an understanding of Christ’s directives & teachings. B. Successful fathers seek influence – not control. 1. He wants to help his children learn & recover from their mistakes. 2. He realizes that he can live as a positive force in the hearts of his children – even after he dies. C. Successful fathers have their spiritual lives in order. 1. The father is the spiritual leader of the family. 2. We need men like Joshua who decisively determine that they will serve the Lord. – Josh 24:14-24; esp. 14-15. a) Can you say this is the case for your family? 3. Seen many cases where wife/mother is the strong one spiritually – while husband/father never seems to get his act together. a) Could it be that men feel they don’t need religion as much as women? b) A refusal to accept responsibility for the leadership position that is his? c) Men always seem to be content to make excuses. 4. God will not accept excuse making for not fulfilling His plan in your life! a) He demands that you take responsibility for your manner of life. b) He demands you take responsibility for your passions. c) He demands that you set the example for your family. D. Successful fathers are men of dedication. 1. You can get committed. Don’t believe the lie that is so popular today. 2. Make the commitment to be God’s kind of person! a) You surrender yourself – everything you do in your life – to God’s plan and God’s way. b) Gal. 2:20 c) Dedicate yourself to be loyal to God no matter what. 3. Be dedicated to God’s plan. Is it your desire to let others see Christ living in you? 4. Be dedicated to God’s people. People in your family & in the church need you! 5. Report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly: a) 72% of children continue in the faith. b) Only the father attends – 55% continue c) Only the mother attends – 15% remain involved in the church. E. Successful fathers are men of decision. 1. Live your life so it will not be a life full of regret. 2. Joshua (24:15) determined that no matter what he & his family were going to serve God. 3. What will you do? Whom will you choose to serve? When will you choose? 4. How many opportunities have been lost because of indecision? 5. Make the decision NOW to: d) LEARN the word of God – Psa. 119:9-10 e) LOVE the word of God – Psa. 119:11, 47, 97, 140 f) LIVE the word of God – Psa. 119:17 F. Successful fathers are men of destiny – Phil. 4:9 1. Remember God has a plan for your life. Always be looking/working to live according to His purposes. Live w/a view of Phil. 4:9 in mind. 2. Strive to be a model of courage. Like Joshua. a) Takes courage to stand up for right values. b) Takes courage to live according to godly principles & not flinch when it can be so tempting to compromise. 3. Strive to be a model of conviction. Move w/conviction & passion w/the godly & moral things in your life. a) Keep on following Jesus – never turn your back on Him or doubt the fact that he cares for your soul. Conclusion: A. Fathers…may God guide you, strengthen you, and give you wisdom as you accept one of life’s most demanding challenges. B. Develop the willingness to learn to be a better father in the same manner you want your children to be better sons and daughters. C. Remember that you should be a person of decision. 1. Have you decided to follow Jesus? 2. If you have previously, how dedicated are you to His cause? 3. Get your spiritual priorities in order. D. I N V I T A T I O N