Improving Communication in Your Marriage

 

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Topic # 2553 communication

Introduction:

A.     Why is this important?

B.     Why do you want to improve/study/learn about communication?  Why are you here?

C.    We spend more time/effort making sure we get along with others than we do with our families.  “My family has to take me as I am.”

D.    Communication is the lifeblood of your marriage.

E.     When lines of communication are blocked – the flow of life ceases & the marriage dies.

1.      This facet of marriage is the most talked about, most written about, and the least understood.

2.      Most don’t know what it is, how to get it, or even whether or not they would like it if they had it.

F.  Why is there a lack of communication?

G.  What areas of communication do you need to improve?

H.  What are some essentials to communication?

1.  Listening:  not forming a defense; not judging motives

2.  Speaking: how to speak; tone is important

3.  Want to: Need a desire to communicate: why bother?

4.  Give of ourselves.

 

I.  How to improve it

A.  Remember communication is a 2-way street.

1.      1 Pet. 3:7; Js. 1:19

2.      Both husband/wife have to participate willingly.

B.     Remember men & women express themselves differently.

1.      Logic/facts to a man learn sensitivity.

2.      Emotion to a woman.  Learn to handle things more logically.

3.      1 Peter 3:7

C.    Trust is an absolute essential.  Communication is deposting a part of yourself in another person (anonymous)

1.      How do you build trust?

2.      Comes through sacrificial love.  Eph. 5:25-33

D.    Be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings.

E.     It takes time!

1.      Date night?

2.      daily time?  (make time)

F.     Watch your tone.

1.      When communicating the meaning of your ideas:

a)     voice = 38%

b)     facial expression & body tone = 55%

c)      spoken word = 7%

G.    Listen.  Js. 1:19 – quick to hear…

1.      Why does communication suffer when we never employ its major component?

a)     listening = 46%

b)     talking = 38%

c)      reading = 15%

d)     writing = 9%

H.    Get a grip on your anger – Eph. 4:26-27; Js. 1:19; Pro. 21:23

1.      Anger is normal.  Not sinful in itself.

2.      But sinful when uncontrolled or unrestrained.

I.        Don’t judge motives. Phil. 2:3-4

 

II.                   The basis for all of this is love.

A.     1 Cor. 13

B.     13:4-5a - Love looks to others first, conscious of how we treat others

C.    13:5b-6 - Love is tolerant of others failings

D.    13:7 - Love wants the best for others

 

III. A model for the marriage relationship – Eph. 5:22-30

A.     Wife to submit to husband as we submit to Christ

1.      seen as a pleasure/privilege to serve

2.      it we subject ourselves, life will be better

3.      offer respect & appreciation

B.     Husband to love wife like Jesus loved the church

1.      kindness, mercy,

2.      Sacrifice, not only life, but time, self, etc.

3.      nourishes and cherishes – causes growth, protection

C.    If both fulfill their role the way God intended, we will solve most common problems

 

IV. Another set of instructions for marriage – 1 Pet. 3:1-7

A.     Wives…

1.      Submit to the leadership/headship of the husband.

2.      Wives can “win” their husbands by their behavior.

a)     Chaste, respectful, gentle, and quiet spirit.

4.      Concentrate on inward beauty.

B.     Husbands...

1.      Understanding...know her, respect her wants; desires; preferences.

2.      protect her; she is weaker, fragile, precious, delicate

C.    1 Pet. 3:8-9 – be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted, humble

D.    not getting even or accusatory

 

Conclusion:

A.     Communication is built on trust & sacrificial love.

5.      Eph. 5:25-332; 1 Pet. 3:1-9; esp. 8-9

B. 1 Pet. 2:21-25 – Jesus is our example.

C.    How can we help you follow Him?