1 Tim. 3:11-12 – Qualifications for Wives & Families

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Topic # 1486 (deacons)

Introduction:

A.     Lots of controversy associated w/3:11.

1.      in 3:11 – does Paul introduce a new class of people closely associated with deacons?

2.      are the 4 qualifications separated & refer only to the new class?

B.     1 Tim. 3:8-13 – is divided into 4 sections.

1.      3:8-9 – character qualifitcations – understand that males are under consideration here.

2.      3:10 – diaconate candidates must be tested.

3.      3:11 – wives must likewise be dignified, not gossips, temperate, and faithful.

4.      3:12 – Deacons must be husbands of 1 wife, good managers of children & households.

C.    Controversy centers around wd in 3:11- does it refer to women in general or wives of deacons?

1.      Context determines the answer.

D.    Some have taken 3:11 to mean that:

1.      Paul addressing women who are deacons. (women officers in the church)

2.      Women who assist deacons.

3.      wives who assist their deacon husbands.

E.     So..who is in question in 3:11?

 

I.  Wives of deacons are under consideration here.

A.     If Paul were referring to female deacons or women who help deacons, we’d expect him to list additional and unique requirements.

1.      wife of 1 man

2.      having obedient children

3.      1 Tim. 5:9-10 – made upa  list here – so why not 3:11?

B.     Women here are wives? Nothing new to be added.

1.      They must be like their husbands (3:8-9)

2.      3:12 – general guidelines regarding their domestic lives are included in 3:12

C.    Wives must be of the same moral character as their husbands.

1.      The examination process for deacons is to include the moral fitness of their wives.

2.      Wives are to be above reproach.

D.    3:11 is not an awkward interruption of thought in the middle of male deacon’s requirements.

1.      These are further requirements to determine a deacon’s fitness for office.

 

II.  God’s expectations for deacon’s wives.

A.     These requirements are similar to the qualifications in 3:8-9 for deacons.

B.     Wives are to be dignified.

1.      3:8 – deacons are men of dignity; worthy of respect.

2.      3:11 – wives are required to be dignified as well.

C.    Wives are not to be malicious gossips.

1.      Wording here means slanderous or malicious talkers.

2.      Kind of talk that divides & hurts people. Destroys churches.

a)     malicious gossips create division; hatred; and suspicion.

b)     Exhibit confused judgment; uncontrolled speech.

3.      motivated by:

a)     anger; jealousy; bitterness; wounded feelings; pride; etc.

4.      malicious gossips spread rumors; innuendo; criticisms; lies about people.

5.      God has long hated this kind of behavior:

a)     Lev. 19:16; Pro. 10:18

b)     James 3:3-8

6.      God expects us to make peace; speak in love; truth

a)     to heal wounds

b)     mend broken relationships

D.    Wives are to be temperate.

1.      involves stable character

2.      refers to a woman who has balanced judgment and self control.

a)     stability in character; speech; judgment; conduct.

b)     Someone who is self-restrained & clearheaded.

3.      wives who lack these qualities will undermine a deacon’s service within the congregation.

E.     Wives are to be faithful in all things.

1.      She is to be loyal to God! Unshakeable!

2.      Faithfulness marked all the great women & men of God!

a)     Heb. 3:5; Neh. 7:2; 9:8; Col. 1:7

b)     It is a key measuring stick – 1 Cor. 4:2

3.      Since God is faithful – he expects us to be faithful!

4.      in all things.

a)     in every relationship

b)     in every sphere of life; commitment to Christ; His word; family; responsibilities to brethren; etc.

c)      fickle; selfish woman who change their mind, or break commitments are unreliable.

d)     Pro. 25:19

F.     Wives are significantly important in helping deacons fulfill their ministry.

1.      They have important responsiblites to fill & must be qualified.

 

III.  3:12 – Familiy Requirements.

A.     The need for marital purity.  Must be husband of 1 wife.

1.      It expresses an exemplary marital relationship; one above reproach.

2.       Phrase refers to a “1 woman” man.

3.      prohibits deacons from polygamy; unlawful 2^nd marriage; homosexuality; or any questionable relationship w/the opposite sex.

4.      the deacon is to be true to 1 woman – 19:4-6

B.     Good managers of their children & households

1.      Emphasis on “good” here.

a)     properly; excellently.

2.      A candidate must supervise his family well.

3.      means he must be a responsible Christian father & household manager.

4.      must provide for his family financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

5.      His home must not be on the verge of collapse.

C.    Children must obey & submit to his leadership in the home.

1.      not a spirit crushing dictatorship.

2.      but lovingly in the spirit of Eph. 6:4

a)     Psa. 127:3a

b)     To lose this heritage is an incalculable loss.

D.    Father must not be passive or disinterested in his children.

1.      kind of man who does not leave rearing of children to wife.

2.      he must actively guide/care for them & the entire household.

3.      Pro. 29:15b

E.     Children need training, discipline, and lots of love/affirmation.

1.      See Pro. 3:12; 23:13-14; 29:17

F.     A man’s ability to manage God’s church is directly related to his ability to manage his household.

1.      Can’t care for family properly, can’t care for the family of God.

2.      This is a crucial test as to whether or not he is qualified to be a deacon.

 

Conclusion:

A.     Qualifications are important.

1.      standard every Christian needs to be living up to.

2.      especially those who wish to lead.

3.      how are you doing?

B. I N V I T A T I O N