Expect the Best
2004048
Topic # 0196
Introduction:
A. Romans 12:9-16 NLT
1. 12:9, 10, 16
B. Our relationship with brethren should be best on earth.
1. John 13:35 – loving relationships are an identifying mark of Christians.
2. 1 Pet. 1:22; 3:8-9; Heb. 13:1
3. Phil. 2:3-4 – looking out for others. Place selfish interests aside.
4. It takes work to build great relationships.
C. Consider the relationships you have with brethren in our congregation.
1. Hope we can all say that we look forward to spending eternity with each other.
2. If you can’t say this – please consider your attitude.
I. despite our best intentions, problems do come between brethren.
A. The beauty of God’s creation is that we’re all individuals. We each possess:
1. our own likes/dislikes; habits/tendencies
2. our own personalities/backgrounds/perspectives
a) We can have difficulty at times trying to understand each other’s perspective & wonder why they can’t see things the way we do.
3. Our own level of self esteem. Healthy/poor/fluctuate oversensitive?
B. Sometimes we hurt each other. Intentionally and non-intentionally.
C. Sometimes we make mistakes in judgment that others sit back in amazement over. How could you do”that?” What were you thinking, etc?
D. Sometimes we misspeak and fail to control our tongue.
E. Sometimes we fail to hear and perceive what someone is saying.
F. Sometimes we disappoint people; let them down.
G. List of possible scenarios goes on and on.
II. If we’re not careful, we can develop a spirit of cynicism.
A. Why aren’t brethren closer to one another? Could it be because they’ve been hurt before and are afraid to love closely again for fear of being hurt?
B. Can lead to a downward spiral. Before long, we can begin to expect the worst out of each other.
1. We do it more than we think.
2. Need to be aware of the possibility. Also self exam to see if we’ve got any of these problems in our heart.
C. Sometimes people let us down/disappoint – and do it often.
1. Can develop a spirit where we’re always down on them for it.
D. Cynicism destroys relationships between brethren and it places our souls in jeopardy.
III. In 1 Tim. 6:4 – Paul describes a condition we need to be aware of.
A. 6:3-4. Focus on evil suspicions. Evil surmising ASV
1. Meaning here involves the impugning of motives – seeing absolutely no good; wanting nothing good to come out of the other person.
2. Only expecting and hoping for the worst.
B. In his comments on this verse Hendrickson says, all looks yellow to the jaundiced eye.
1. Person in 6:4 – has a deep sense of mistrust in others.
2. Every action is suspect; every word, every gesture.
3. Imagines something behind every move of the person who is his adversary.
C. Such an attitude is dangerous because it is contagious.
D. This is why it is forthrightly condemned.
IV. Some real life scenarios.
A. Scenario 1: certain circles of the brotherhood – element of suspicion has enveloped brethren.
1. Some actually brag of their suspicions & constantly look for any sign to prove their suspicions true. (doctrinally soft; tolerant attitudes)
2. Don’t misunderstand: not saying that we must close our eyes to false doctrine or “liberal” mindsets.
B. Preachers get labels attached to them – fairly or unfairly.
1. One preacher amazed to have his name as a topic of discussion by 2 other preachers he hardly knew on opposite ends of the country.
2. Even though these men never heard the preacher deliver a sermon – they were convinced that he was doctrinally soft.
3. Labels get attached – and no matter the amount of statements made to prove otherwise – the label sticks.
C. Instead of having hearts full of concern, sorrow, and desire to talk with the one who is the topic of our suspicion…
1. Some move with glee and excitement that someone has strayed from the path – and they seek to make a name for themselves as having stood against error.
2. This is a prime example of “evil suspicions,” impugning motives, and of circulating false information.
D. Scenario 2: have a bro/sis we’ve disagreed w/in the past. Personality conflict.
1. Something is said about the person & we accept it w/o investigation.
2. We, almost w/glee say it doesn’t surprise me… well, I’ve known all along.
a) Pro. 18:8; 26:22 – would this be dainty morsels?
4. So the worst is assumed & we do not go to the person we have the issue with. Relationship hindered.
E. Scenario 3: a congregation decides to take a leap of faith and do some things that are “non-conventional” in their evangelism and outreach efforts.
1. The message of gospel doesn’t change – but a different method of getting word out is employed.
2. Others in the area disagree w/the judgment of the elders in the congregation and assume the congregation is moving toward liberalism.
a) And so the whispering begins.
b) Some never investigate the matter to see what actually is going on.
3. It makes no difference if the congregation is teaching truth – others always “suspect” that things are not headed in the “right” direction.
4. If someone is questioned – allegations are proven false – still not good enough for some.
F. In each of the above scenarios…only the worst was assumed.
1. Motives and intentions were judged w/o investigation.
2. reputations of good brethren/churches were damaged
3. These attitudes may be more prevalent than we’d like to admit.
4. Some are far, far away from Rom. 12:9-10 in their attitude.
V. This spirit of cynicism can have a devastating effect.
A. On the person(s) in question.
1. Why try? Why reach out to others?
2. Cynicism has driven some away from the faith.
3. Brethren…our judge is God – not other people. We must not let the devil use this as wedge between us and God!
B. On congregations of the Lord’s people.
1. Causes some congregations to be paralyzed with fear.
2. If we engage in this work – what will other congregations think?
3. If we do this, they’ll write us off as being liberal.
4. Brethren. Our judge is God – not other congregations! We must move in faith and look for the most effective means of spreading the gospel!
C. On the cynical ones themselves.
1. Their entire outlook on the church is sour and full of fear.
2. Destroys their focus on reaching the lost; and their influence for good.
VI. How to overcome the problem. How can we learn to expect the best?
A. Open up the lines of communication.
1. Principle of Matthew 18:15-17 applicable here.
2. Mt. 5:23-24 also applies.
3. Talk about the situation. Don’t assume anything.
4. Until speaking – give the benefit of the doubt! They’re Christians! They’re brethren!
B. Accept what they say.
1. Mt. 5:37 – our word is to be our bond.
2. If others are relating false info – tell the truth & exhort them to correct their story.
a) It’s not our place to judge motives! Mt 7:1 deals with this. Also Mt. 7:12
b) Judgment can be made on deeds & attitudes expressed. Jhn 7:24
C. Learn to keep our mouths shut – Js. 1:19
1. Temptation to talk negatively about someone else can be great.
2. Easier to be negative than positive.
a) Takes effort to see positive – but absolutely necessary if we wish to glorify God and not say anything that could come back to haunt us.
b) Greater effort required when person(s) has hurt us in someway.
3. Last thing we need to do is to be the talebearer of something that is fabricated, exaggerated, or embellished.
D. Put forgiveness into action.
1. Eph. 4:31-32. Convinced that this passage is not put into action like it should.
2. To our detriment.
3. How much more vibrant; joyful; and unified the church would be if we fully embraced and practiced what is contained in these verses.
4. Bottom line: no forgiveness – we will not be forgiven. Mt. 6:14-15
Conclusion:
A. Rom. 12:9-16.
B. Is our love sincere/genuine?
C. Are we demonstrating that love for one another?
D. Is brotherly love an identifying mark of our Christianity?
E. Do we expect the best of each other? Give each other the benefit of the doubt?
F. I N V I T A T I O N
