A Better Kind of Grieving

A Better Kind of Grieving
John 11:30-35

2003049

Topic # 1205

INTRODUCTION:

Every person will experience a loss every six years of their lives.
1. Think about this quote.
2. family members; parents; grandparents; uncles; aunts; brothers; sisters; other loved ones who pass away – it seems to average out about every 6 years.
What do you do when you lose someone or something that is very important to you?
How do you handle loss in your life? How do you react to the death of someone near and dear to you?
1. There are some healthy and unhealthy reactions.
There are some benefits that Christians have that non-Christians don't have.
1. Not that we don't experience traumatic loses, not at all, but we can grieve, sorrow or mourn
2. Not as those who have no hope, but as those who have HOPE! 1 Thess 4:13
Tonight I want us to look at Grief and Grieving and some things we can do to help handle it more effectively and faithfully.

WE NEED A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF GRIEF
1. Grief Briefly Defined... "Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement"
2. Words associated with it: sorrow, sadness, mournfulness, and heartache.
3. Grief can often be like the feeling of fear.
  1. C. S. Lewis: "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." (A Grief Observed)
  2. "No one cries very much unless something of real value is lost. So grieving is a celebration of the depth of the union. Tears are the jewels of remembrance -- sad, but glistening with the beauty of the past." Dr. James Peterson
  3. quote from Bible Illustrator
4. Understanding Grief & Loss
  1. Grief is a normal, healthy response for anyone who has experienced the loss of something or someone they have valued
    1. OR in which they have had an emotional investment.
    2. It is not exclusively experienced during the death of a loved one.
  2. Grieving, is painful but very necessary for spiritual and emotional health.
  3. It is not self-pity, nor is it the development of a victim mentality.
  4. It is actively seeking to find solutions and help.
    1. Christians look to God and His Son to help them through this most difficult time in their lives.
  5. We grieve all kinds of losses. Studies have found that people go through stages or phases in their grieving.
    1. First: feeling emotionally numb. Can last days/hours.
    2. 2^nd – deep yearning for the person who has died. Accompanied by this are feelings of anger; difficulty in concentration; inability to sleep. Feelings of guilt may be prevalent.
    3. 3^rd – outbursts; strong emotions; depression; silence; withdrawal from family/friends. may be prone to outbursts of tears set off by memories & reminders of the deceased.
    4. 4^th – this pain begins to lessen over time – life is seen in a more positive light again.
    5. 5^th – final phase – this is where the person lets go of the deceased & moves on w/life. Energy levels & sleeping patterns return to normal.
  6. Process of Grieving... Some Helps...
    1. Accept the fact that the grieving process takes time and is different for each individual.
    2. Even though a person may not feel like it at times, they will survive.
    3. It is important the griever "acknowledge the loss".
    4. Each person experiences grief individually and therefore differently than others.
    5. ups and downs, good days and bad days, and that’s OK!

GRIEF IS NOT WRONG...
1. Jesus manifested grief when He saw how others were grieved over the loss of a loved one - John 11:32-35
2. Paul wrote of "a continual grief" that he had in his heart - Rom 9:1-2;10:1
3. Paul and the Ephesian elders expressed their grief as they bid him a sad farewell - Acts 20:36-38
  1. We experience the sorrow of separation -
  2. But we need not experience the sorrow of desperation
    1. The despair of having no hope
    2. The despair of not ever seeing a loved one again
4. while there is a place for grief in the life and heart of a Christian, it is imperative that grief not take control of our lives.
5. What can help the Christian alleviate the pain of grief?

FAITH IN JESUS HELPS US TO OVERCOME GRIEF
1. JESUS PROVIDES COMFORT TO THE GRIEVING SOUL...
  1. As previously noted, Jesus certainly understands our grief - Heb 4:14-16
    1. While in the flesh, He experienced grief - John 11:35
    2. In the Garden, he experienced anticipatory grief!
    3. Indeed, He became flesh to be better suited to come to our aid
      Heb 2:17-18
  2. He therefore taught His disciples how to find comfort when troubled
    1. To believe in Him - John 14:1-3
    2. To keep His commandments, that we might abide in His love - John 15:10-11
    3. To pray, that we may have joy and peace - John 16:24,33; Phil 4:6-7
  3. He provides comfort with the promise of our resurrection - 1 Cor.15:1-ff.
  4. It is in the knowledge and faith concerning the events of Christ's coming; as Paul teaches in 1 Thess 4: 13- 17.
  5. With the Lord on our side "...Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." Psalms 30:5
2. JESUS PROVIDES A FAMILY TO HELP BEAR OUR GRIEF...
  1. Those who believe in Jesus and do His will are part of a family - Mt 13:46-50
    1. That family is the family of God, the church - 1 Tim 3:15; 5:1-2
    2. In which we have "a hundredfold" brothers, sisters, mothers, etc. -
      Mk 10:29-30
    3. In which we are to find help in the time of need. - Heb 4:16
  2. As a family, we can bear one another's grief - Gal 6:2, 9,10
    1. By weeping with those who weep - Rom 12:15
    2. By sharing in each other's sufferings - 1 Cor 12:25-26
    3. By comforting one another with the comfort we each receive from God - 2 Cor 1:3-5
  3. Sadly, many do not take advantage of this blessing of a spiritual family.
    1. Some may "belong to a church", but never become involved.
    2. So when their grief comes, they must often bear it alone. Gal 6:2

CONCLUSION:

Jesus certainly did not intend for us to bear our grief alone...
1. He taught us how to have lasting joy and peace, through faith IN HIM, even in the midst of grief.
2. He died and rose from the dead, that our grief and grieving, even over death might be temporary.
3. He now intercedes as our High Priest, to comfort us in our times of grief.
  1. Sometimes people ask where is God? Or where was God? He was right their hurting with your loved one and He is there with you right now too, Just as He was His Son as He died on Calvary!
4. He built His church to be a family, so we can receive comfort in times of grief.
For one to enjoy such blessings, it requires faith in Jesus...
1. Faith in Jesus to believe what He taught
2. Faith in Jesus to believe what He did
3. Faith in Jesus to obey what He commanded, and to stay IN HIM, that we might abide in His love. Paul said in Phil. 4:13, "I Can Do All Things, Through Him Who Strengthens Me!"
4. Faith in Jesus to trust in His Promises.
5. Faith in Jesus to become an integral part of His "church family"
So if we wish to overcome our grief, we need to truly "Trust in the Lord, from which comes my help". Truly as John told us in 1 John 5:4 "Faith Is the Victory!" Even over the death of our loved ones and the terrible grief that comes with it.

D. I N V I T A T I O N



A Better Kind of Grieving John 11:30-35 2003049 Topic # 1205 INTRODUCTION: Every person will experience a loss every six years of their lives. Think about this quote. family members; parents; grandparents; uncles; aunts; brothers; sisters; other loved ones who pass away – it seems to average out about every 6 years. What do you do when you lose someone or something that is very important to you? How do you handle loss in your life? How do you react to the death of someone near and dear to you? There are some healthy and unhealthy reactions. There are some benefits that Christians have that non-Christians don't have. Not that we don't experience traumatic loses, not at all, but we can grieve, sorrow or mourn Not as those who have no hope, but as those who have HOPE! 1 Thess 4:13 Tonight I want us to look at Grief and Grieving and some things we can do to help handle it more effectively and faithfully. WE NEED A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF GRIEF Grief Briefly Defined... "Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement" Words associated with it: sorrow, sadness, mournfulness, and heartache. Grief can often be like the feeling of fear. C. S. Lewis: "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." (A Grief Observed) "No one cries very much unless something of real value is lost. So grieving is a celebration of the depth of the union. Tears are the jewels of remembrance -- sad, but glistening with the beauty of the past." Dr. James Peterson quote from Bible Illustrator Understanding Grief & Loss Grief is a normal, healthy response for anyone who has experienced the loss of something or someone they have valued OR in which they have had an emotional investment. It is not exclusively experienced during the death of a loved one. Grieving, is painful but very necessary for spiritual and emotional health. It is not self-pity, nor is it the development of a victim mentality. It is actively seeking to find solutions and help. Christians look to God and His Son to help them through this most difficult time in their lives. We grieve all kinds of losses. Studies have found that people go through stages or phases in their grieving. First: feeling emotionally numb. Can last days/hours. 2^nd – deep yearning for the person who has died. Accompanied by this are feelings of anger; difficulty in concentration; inability to sleep. Feelings of guilt may be prevalent. 3^rd – outbursts; strong emotions; depression; silence; withdrawal from family/friends. may be prone to outbursts of tears set off by memories & reminders of the deceased. 4^th – this pain begins to lessen over time – life is seen in a more positive light again. 5^th – final phase – this is where the person lets go of the deceased & moves on w/life. Energy levels & sleeping patterns return to normal. Process of Grieving... Some Helps... Accept the fact that the grieving process takes time and is different for each individual. Even though a person may not feel like it at times, they will survive. It is important the griever "acknowledge the loss". Each person experiences grief individually and therefore differently than others. ups and downs, good days and bad days, and that’s OK! GRIEF IS NOT WRONG... Jesus manifested grief when He saw how others were grieved over the loss of a loved one - John 11:32-35 Paul wrote of "a continual grief" that he had in his heart - Rom 9:1-2;10:1 Paul and the Ephesian elders expressed their grief as they bid him a sad farewell - Acts 20:36-38 We experience the sorrow of separation - But we need not experience the sorrow of desperation The despair of having no hope The despair of not ever seeing a loved one again while there is a place for grief in the life and heart of a Christian, it is imperative that grief not take control of our lives. What can help the Christian alleviate the pain of grief? FAITH IN JESUS HELPS US TO OVERCOME GRIEF JESUS PROVIDES COMFORT TO THE GRIEVING SOUL... As previously noted, Jesus certainly understands our grief - Heb 4:14-16 While in the flesh, He experienced grief - John 11:35 In the Garden, he experienced anticipatory grief! Indeed, He became flesh to be better suited to come to our aid Heb 2:17-18 He therefore taught His disciples how to find comfort when troubled To believe in Him - John 14:1-3 To keep His commandments, that we might abide in His love - John 15:10-11 To pray, that we may have joy and peace - John 16:24,33; Phil 4:6-7 He provides comfort with the promise of our resurrection - 1 Cor.15:1-ff. It is in the knowledge and faith concerning the events of Christ's coming; as Paul teaches in 1 Thess 4: 13- 17. With the Lord on our side "...Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." Psalms 30:5 JESUS PROVIDES A FAMILY TO HELP BEAR OUR GRIEF... Those who believe in Jesus and do His will are part of a family - Mt 13:46-50 That family is the family of God, the church - 1 Tim 3:15; 5:1-2 In which we have "a hundredfold" brothers, sisters, mothers, etc. - Mk 10:29-30 In which we are to find help in the time of need. - Heb 4:16 As a family, we can bear one another's grief - Gal 6:2, 9,10 By weeping with those who weep - Rom 12:15 By sharing in each other's sufferings - 1 Cor 12:25-26 By comforting one another with the comfort we each receive from God - 2 Cor 1:3-5 Sadly, many do not take advantage of this blessing of a spiritual family. Some may "belong to a church", but never become involved. So when their grief comes, they must often bear it alone. Gal 6:2 CONCLUSION: Jesus certainly did not intend for us to bear our grief alone... He taught us how to have lasting joy and peace, through faith IN HIM, even in the midst of grief. He died and rose from the dead, that our grief and grieving, even over death might be temporary. He now intercedes as our High Priest, to comfort us in our times of grief. Sometimes people ask where is God? Or where was God? He was right their hurting with your loved one and He is there with you right now too, Just as He was His Son as He died on Calvary! He built His church to be a family, so we can receive comfort in times of grief. For one to enjoy such blessings, it requires faith in Jesus... Faith in Jesus to believe what He taught Faith in Jesus to believe what He did Faith in Jesus to obey what He commanded, and to stay IN HIM, that we might abide in His love. Paul said in Phil. 4:13, "I Can Do All Things, Through Him Who Strengthens Me!" Faith in Jesus to trust in His Promises. Faith in Jesus to become an integral part of His "church family" So if we wish to overcome our grief, we need to truly "Trust in the Lord, from which comes my help". Truly as John told us in 1 John 5:4 "Faith Is the Victory!" Even over the death of our loved ones and the terrible grief that comes with it. D. I N V I T A T I O N