Getting a Grip on Anger

2003041

Topic # 2147

Introduction

A. Part of putting on new man learning to control anger/wrath that can confront us regularly.

1. Few things that are harder to deal with, excused so often, or lead us to sin quicker – than a feeling of anger.

B. Talk to many people who indicate that this is one of the most discouraging things they work on in life.

1. Work on it. Before they know it – something happens & they explode.

2. Then – spend great deal of time trying to repair damage done.

3. Can divide marriages/family/congregations/everyone.

C. Anger sometimes stays in ones heart & can affect joy/health.

1. Shatter communication b/t hus/wife.

2. provoke children to wrath; create turmoil w/in congregation

D. Question comes up: How can I deal with anger? How can I get better where I don’t blow up w/those I love – and my brethren?

I. Remember…Anger is not always Sinful!

A. Anger: God given emotion to help solve problems biblically. Note examples in Scripture:

1. Paul/Peter in Gal. 2:11, 14

a) Peter’s hypocritical conduct of eating w/Gentiles sometimes and not sometimes depending on who present.

b) Paul called to mind problem: dealt w/it.

2. Jesus – Jhn. 2:13-17

a) Driving money collectors out of temple.

b) Called to mind problem: dealt w/it.

B. Note Eph. 4:26 – words of the HS.

1. note context of 4:25-27

2. Expression of anger not condemned – but point here learning how to control it.

C. Note also Mk. 3:5 – Jesus angry toward Pharisees.

a) Note: Christ angry – but exercised self control.

b) Certainly He irritated/frustrated/w/them. But….controlled.

D. Psa. 7:11 – even God gets angry.

E. Conclusion: Anger is justified when used as a proper expression of disapproval of evil conduct; self defense; and is justified when one is upset over sinful behavior.

II. When does Anger Become Sinful?

A. When the motivation is because of selfishness.

1. Many forget 2 Cor. 5:15 – we live for Christ not for ourselves!

2. anger wrong when motivated by:

a) not done my way – hus/wives brethren/congregation employer/employees; my rights have been violated

b) make someone else look bad to make our self look better

c) hide a problem (touch a sore spot)

3. These all motivated by selfishness. If we just stop & think about motivation for getting upset b/f reacting – many problems solved!

4. Phil. 2:3-5 – humility the key! Selflessness is so important!

B. When it is allowed to simmer/boil.

1. Eph. 4:26 warns against this.

2. Hold it in – when right buttons pushed E X P L O D E!!

3. Prov. 25:28; 29:22; Eccl. 7:9

4. Times like this can carry anger to excess – create much trouble for oneself & creates regret later.

C. When it attacks the person not the problem.

1. Attack one trying to help.

2. Often b/c they refuse to admit problem. Affect happiness in marriage/church/work.

a) How dare you criticize me – you’re not perfect either.

b) Make one who address problem out to be stupid/crazy/petty.

3. This against Eph. 4:15, 20

a) Must work together in marriage/home/congregation/work.

b) Not put foot in mouth by saying something regretful.

D. Speak when angry – you’ll make best speech you’ll ever regret.

1. divorce; I hate you; threats; You shouldn’t have been born; I hate my family; I hate my home I’ll quit this job; I’ll pulverize you.

III. What do we usually do with our anger?

A. Can blow up:

1. divorce

2. Ill health – 70% greater chance of heart attack in angry people.

3. bitterness

4. murder

5. Goals hindered/relationships destroyed.

B. Can clam up/hold inside:

1. depression results

2. resentment

3. irritable

4. angry at God

5. Self focused – no interaction with others.

C. Or….deal w/problem biblically.

1. That is….define the problem

a) may involve admitting we’re the problem

b) Takes humility/honesty.

2. Then….exert energy to resolve problem ASAP.

a) refer to Paul in Gal. 2

IV. How Can I Get a Grip on my Anger?

A. Must recognize, admit the mistake/problem.

1. Solve so many problems/pain/despair if more would do this.

2. Brethren get along better/marriages improve/life improve!

a) We expected to take positive steps to make things right w/the ones we may have wronged!

b) Expected to remove trouble between self & others. Mt. 5:23-24

3. Remember Prov. 28:13 – not going to get anywhere by lying/denying the problem! See also 1 Jhn. 1:8-10

4. How much often would we glorify God if we would do this!

B. Make room for the vengeance of God.

1. Remember who Paul writing to: 1^st century Christians who in danger of physical persecution. Temptation for revenge.

2. Yet…we should think the same today – some hurt us – learn to give it over to God.

C. Rom. 12:20-21 – return good for what you think is evil.

1. Hard to do. Someone hurts/irks me – hurt them or don’t want anything to do w/them – yet we must do good to them when opportunity arises.

2. 12:21 – again…don’t use this as opportunity to sin but a time to glorify Christ.

3. Which way He more glorified? Lashing out or by good example?

D. Eph. 4:15 – work together to solve problems.

1. hus/wife

2. congregation

3. employer/employee

E. Js. 1:25 – expend effort on your part to get problem dealt with.

1. Don’t just talk about it.

2. Do it – no matter how painful.

Conclusion

A. God’s way – best way to handle this.

B. Will you submit to Him here?

1. Just playing religion in not committed to dealing w/this.

2. All have to start somewhere.

C. I N V I T A T I O N



Getting a Grip on Anger 2003041 Topic # 2147 Introduction A. Part of putting on new man learning to control anger/wrath that can confront us regularly. 1. Few things that are harder to deal with, excused so often, or lead us to sin quicker – than a feeling of anger. B. Talk to many people who indicate that this is one of the most discouraging things they work on in life. 1. Work on it. Before they know it – something happens & they explode. 2. Then – spend great deal of time trying to repair damage done. 3. Can divide marriages/family/congregations/everyone. C. Anger sometimes stays in ones heart & can affect joy/health. 1. Shatter communication b/t hus/wife. 2. provoke children to wrath; create turmoil w/in congregation D. Question comes up: How can I deal with anger? How can I get better where I don’t blow up w/those I love – and my brethren? I. Remember…Anger is not always Sinful! A. Anger: God given emotion to help solve problems biblically. Note examples in Scripture: 1. Paul/Peter in Gal. 2:11, 14 a) Peter’s hypocritical conduct of eating w/Gentiles sometimes and not sometimes depending on who present. b) Paul called to mind problem: dealt w/it. 2. Jesus – Jhn. 2:13-17 a) Driving money collectors out of temple. b) Called to mind problem: dealt w/it. B. Note Eph. 4:26 – words of the HS. 1. note context of 4:25-27 2. Expression of anger not condemned – but point here learning how to control it. C. Note also Mk. 3:5 – Jesus angry toward Pharisees. a) Note: Christ angry – but exercised self control. b) Certainly He irritated/frustrated/w/them. But….controlled. D. Psa. 7:11 – even God gets angry. E. Conclusion: Anger is justified when used as a proper expression of disapproval of evil conduct; self defense; and is justified when one is upset over sinful behavior. II. When does Anger Become Sinful? A. When the motivation is because of selfishness. 1. Many forget 2 Cor. 5:15 – we live for Christ not for ourselves! 2. anger wrong when motivated by: a) not done my way – hus/wives brethren/congregation employer/employees; my rights have been violated b) make someone else look bad to make our self look better c) hide a problem (touch a sore spot) 3. These all motivated by selfishness. If we just stop & think about motivation for getting upset b/f reacting – many problems solved! 4. Phil. 2:3-5 – humility the key! Selflessness is so important! B. When it is allowed to simmer/boil. 1. Eph. 4:26 warns against this. 2. Hold it in – when right buttons pushed E X P L O D E!! 3. Prov. 25:28; 29:22; Eccl. 7:9 4. Times like this can carry anger to excess – create much trouble for oneself & creates regret later. C. When it attacks the person not the problem. 1. Attack one trying to help. 2. Often b/c they refuse to admit problem. Affect happiness in marriage/church/work. a) How dare you criticize me – you’re not perfect either. b) Make one who address problem out to be stupid/crazy/petty. 3. This against Eph. 4:15, 20 a) Must work together in marriage/home/congregation/work. b) Not put foot in mouth by saying something regretful. D. Speak when angry – you’ll make best speech you’ll ever regret. 1. divorce; I hate you; threats; You shouldn’t have been born; I hate my family; I hate my home I’ll quit this job; I’ll pulverize you. III. What do we usually do with our anger? A. Can blow up: 1. divorce 2. Ill health – 70% greater chance of heart attack in angry people. 3. bitterness 4. murder 5. Goals hindered/relationships destroyed. B. Can clam up/hold inside: 1. depression results 2. resentment 3. irritable 4. angry at God 5. Self focused – no interaction with others. C. Or….deal w/problem biblically. 1. That is….define the problem a) may involve admitting we’re the problem b) Takes humility/honesty. 2. Then….exert energy to resolve problem ASAP. a) refer to Paul in Gal. 2 *IV. How Can I Get a Grip on my* Anger? A. Must recognize, admit the mistake/problem. 1. Solve so many problems/pain/despair if more would do this. 2. Brethren get along better/marriages improve/life improve! a) We expected to take positive steps to make things right w/the ones we may have wronged! b) Expected to remove trouble between self & others. Mt. 5:23-24 3. Remember Prov. 28:13 – not going to get anywhere by lying/denying the problem! See also 1 Jhn. 1:8-10 4. How much often would we glorify God if we would do this! B. Make room for the vengeance of God. 1. Remember who Paul writing to: 1^st century Christians who in danger of physical persecution. Temptation for revenge. 2. Yet…we should think the same today – some hurt us – learn to give it over to God. C. Rom. 12:20-21 – return good for what you think is evil. 1. Hard to do. Someone hurts/irks me – hurt them or don’t want anything to do w/them – yet we must do good to them when opportunity arises. 2. 12:21 – again…don’t use this as opportunity to sin but a time to glorify Christ. 3. Which way He more glorified? Lashing out or by good example? D. Eph. 4:15 – work together to solve problems. 1. hus/wife 2. congregation 3. employer/employee E. Js. 1:25 – expend effort on your part to get problem dealt with. 1. Don’t just talk about it. 2. Do it – no matter how painful. Conclusion** A. God’s way – best way to handle this. B. Will you submit to Him here? 1. Just playing religion in not committed to dealing w/this. 2. All have to start somewhere. C. I N V I T A T I O N