God’s Desire for Marriage

2003033

Subject: divorce; 1 Cor. 7

Introduction:

A. Many different outlooks, perspectives, & motives behind the teaching of the doctrine of Christ.

1. These things affect the purity of the church

2. When it comes to divorce & remarriage – there seems to be a spirit of compromise among us.

a) Many have changed their teachings & beliefs on this matter.

b) There’s a word of warning we need to heed: whatever makes us willing to change in one area will make us willing to change others.

c) Paul’s warning – 2 Tim. 4:3

3. We must hold fast to the pattern of sound words – 2 Tim. 1:13

B. What is God’s desire for marriage?

1. One man; one woman for life. Permanence is associated with marriage.

2. Expressed by Jesus’ teaching – Mt. 19:6b

3. and by the teaching in 1 Cor. 7:10-11

C. But yet our liberal society says marriage partners expendable & divorce no big deal.

1. 1999: 1 out of 4 adults in US has been divorced.

2. 4500 divorces daily. NOONE is left unaffected by this plague on society.

3. Spouses, former spouses, children are devastated by this!

D. Divorce creating problems in families inside the church.

1. Distressing & heartbreaking.

2. Divorce is the end result of one/both parties failing to live up to God’s standards of marriage.

a) It happens when one/both fail to consider commitment made b/f God & witnesses.

b) Children – STATISTICS

c) Spouse – STATISTICS

3. Divorce happens when one/both fail to consider the condition of their soul.

4. When a divorce happens – SIN has occurred! It is not the status symbol society has made it out to be.

E. Mal. 2:15b-16a

1. Jesus condemns it – 5:31-32

2. Once causes his mate to sin by putting them in a position where they could commit adultery. Mt. 18:6-7

I. God’s design for marriage:

A. Mt. 19:4-6. Look at 19:5.

1. Fundamental law – spouses to cleave to one another. (“To glue” or “stick together.”)

2. 19:6 – permanence of the relationship is stressed here.

1. w/God – marriage is not trivial. Commitment all in that!

2. Parents…are we teaching our kids this important fact?

3. Till death do you part.

B. 19:6 – God joins man/woman together in marriage. Hebrew expression: “yoke together” Therefore:

1. one is obligated to leave parents & cleave to spouse – 19:5

2. one restrained from sexual relations w/another person besides his spouse – Rom. 7:2-3

C. Since God joins 2 people together – God alone has authority to free one from this yoke.

1. Marriage MORE than an agreement between man & woman – it involves 3 – man/woman/God.

D. Divorce is NOT permissible EXCEPT in case of fornication. Mt. 19:9

1. Conclusion: if a man divorces wife b/c of fornication – he does not commit adultery if he chooses to marry another person.

2. Conclusion: The man who marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.

II. More instructions on marriage – 1 Cor. 7.

A. In 1 Cor. 6 – Paul deals with sexual expression outside the marriage relationship.

1. Some in Paul’s day believed it OK to engage in fornication w/temple prostitutes – to satisfy natural desires. Behavior condemned.

2. Chapt. 7 deals with flip side.

a) Is celibacy to be preferred? Celibacy while married?

b) Is separation an option?

c) Should Christian separate from unbelieving mate?

3. Important: Remember 1 Cor. Paul dealing w/specific questions the Corinthians had raised.

4. Paul no where altering Jesus’ teaching in Mt. 19:9. Everything taught here harmonizes with law of Christ!

5. Those who come to 1 Cor. 7 looking for an out in marriage WILL NOT find one here!

B. 7:1-9 – celibacy is not “holy” in & of itself.

1. self control has its advantages – 7:1, 8, 26-28 – esp 7:28

a) 7:32-34 – can allow one to be free of pressing concern – celibacy left Paul’s life reasonably uncluttered.

b) But yet…it referred to as a gift – 7:6-7

c) Some men must work w/in confines of marriage – some don’t have to.

2. Those who are married have a responsibility.

a) 7:2 – to avoid fornication

b) 7:3 – each spouse has affection due them.

c) 7:4 – each spouses’ body belongs to the other. Can’t take from them what is legally & morally theirs.

d) 7:5 – each mate has resp to provide for needs of each other.

1) Failure? Guilty of sin of depraving & defrauding the other.

3. 7:10-16 – spirit’s instructions to the married.

a) 7:10 – do not consider divorcing – this is a lifelong relationship.

1) Remember husband/wife bound for life. Rom. 7:2-3

2) Marriage is not a TRIAL run.

b) Rather – it is a permanent institution in eyes of God & to those who honor God.

4. What about separation?

a) It is a sin for the same reason as divorce.

b) Does 7:10 deal w/separation?

1) “leave” here from same Grk wd in Mt. 19:6

2) 7:11 – when this person leaves is she married/unmarried?

c) 1 Cor. 7:5 – only passage in Bible dealing w/separation. 1 reason given – fasting/prayer. Separate for any other reason? SIN!

d) Even w/this – there are conditions!

1) “with consent” (Both must agree)

2) “for a time” (not an indefinite time period)

3) “come together again” (not to be permanent)

e) In case of abuse? No one denies right to defend self. Always look for opportunity to reconcile.

5. 7:12-16 – those in mixed marriages. (Believers married to nonbelievers)

a) 7:12-13 – no option given to believer to divorce unbelieving mate.

b) Why? 7:13-14 – believer may bring unbeliever to salvation.

1) Stay together? Family relationship continues.

2) One man; one woman; father & mother w/children. God’s designed family.

c) 7:15 – if unbeliever content to stay in marriage – then believer has no right to terminate marriage.

1) What about “not under bondage?”

2) Usage of “bondage” different Grk phrase than in 7:39 & Rom. 7:2. By definition: phrase means “is not a slave.”

3) Nothing in this context indicates phrase “not under bondage” refers to remarriage.

4) Unless context defines the expression – we have no right to devise our own definition.

d) Not under the bondage of:

1) the “duty” of 1 Cor. 7:3-4

2) Christian not called to subject self to abuse in order to stay w/a nonbeliever.

3) Believer NOT a slave & doesn’t have to accept demands of one leaving.

C. Throughout 1 Cor. 7 – there is no hope, no promise, no mention, or no word of remarriage.

1. 7:11 – only mention of remarriage – to remain unmarried.

2. 7:14-16 – who does the leaving? Not the Christian!

3. 7:39 – marriage is a lifelong commitment – DEATH breaks bond – not desertion.

Conclusion:

A. It is a fact that bible teaching on this matter has been neglected for last few generations.

1. God has spoken plainly on matter of divorce.

B. Mk. 8:36-37 – nothing in this life as important as your soul.

1. Yet many fool self daily – not willing to work at making marriages better.

2. When problems come in marriage – must fully commit self to working out problem in godly fashion.

C. Somewhere wife has husband cheating on her.

D. Somewhere children subjected to constant fighting of parents – wonder when it will all end – so can have happy family again.

E. Somewhere two people more willing to commit adultery rather than work out problem in marriage.

1. Ought not be so. Don’t have to.

F. Make commitment that you will serve God w/all heart & learn to be His kind of person.

G. Not a FP lesson. Meant for mature in Christ.

1. But ALL need to consider these principles. Young or old.

2. How is your relationship w/God?

H. Get it started today! I N V I T A T I O N

STATISTICS ON CHILDREN:

Children who have experienced a divorce often score worse on measures of self esteem, psychological adjustment, academic achievement, and emotional and behavioral problems than do children living in intact families or even children living with single mothers who have never been married.
Children in disruptive families are more likely than those in intact families to drop out of high school.
¼ of children in America have no father in the home to welcome them at birth. Only 41% of today’s children will grow up in a 2 parent home. Each year, almost 1 million children are left with one parent b/c of divorce.
“Studies increasingly show that children from what were once called “broken homes” are more likely to be broken themselves: more likely to drop out of school, become pregnant, and seek divorce in their own marriages.” (USA TODAY WEEKEND)

STATISTICS ON MEN:

Men who are separated or divorced receive hospital psychiatric care 20 times more frequently than married men.
Men who divorce heighten their risk of cancer about as much as if they had taken up smoking a pack or more of cigarettes per day.
Divorce now ranks as the # 1 factor linked with suicide rates in large US cities.



God’s Desire for Marriage 2003033 Subject: divorce; 1 Cor. 7 Introduction: A. Many different outlooks, perspectives, & motives behind the teaching of the doctrine of Christ. 1. These things affect the purity of the church 2. When it comes to divorce & remarriage – there seems to be a spirit of compromise among us. a) Many have changed their teachings & beliefs on this matter. b) There’s a word of warning we need to heed: whatever makes us willing to change in one area will make us willing to change others. c) Paul’s warning – 2 Tim. 4:3 3. We must hold fast to the pattern of sound words – 2 Tim. 1:13 B. What is God’s desire for marriage? 1. One man; one woman for life. Permanence is associated with marriage. 2. Expressed by Jesus’ teaching – Mt. 19:6b 3. and by the teaching in 1 Cor. 7:10-11 C. But yet our liberal society says marriage partners expendable & divorce no big deal. 1. 1999: 1 out of 4 adults in US has been divorced. 2. 4500 divorces daily. NOONE is left unaffected by this plague on society. 3. Spouses, former spouses, children are devastated by this! D. Divorce creating problems in families inside the church. 1. Distressing & heartbreaking. 2. Divorce is the end result of one/both parties failing to live up to God’s standards of marriage. a) It happens when one/both fail to consider commitment made b/f God & witnesses. b) Children – STATISTICS c) Spouse – STATISTICS 3. Divorce happens when one/both fail to consider the condition of their soul. 4. When a divorce happens – SIN has occurred! It is not the status symbol society has made it out to be. E. Mal. 2:15b-16a 1. Jesus condemns it – 5:31-32 2. Once causes his mate to sin by putting them in a position where they could commit adultery. Mt. 18:6-7 I. God’s design for marriage: A. Mt. 19:4-6. Look at 19:5. 1. Fundamental law – spouses to cleave to one another. (“To glue” or “stick together.”) 2. 19:6 – permanence of the relationship is stressed here. 1. w/God – marriage is not trivial. Commitment all in that! 2. Parents…are we teaching our kids this important fact? 3. Till death do you part. B. 19:6 – God joins man/woman together in marriage. Hebrew expression: “yoke together” Therefore: 1. one is obligated to leave parents & cleave to spouse – 19:5 2. one restrained from sexual relations w/another person besides his spouse – Rom. 7:2-3 C. Since God joins 2 people together – God alone has authority to free one from this yoke. 1. Marriage MORE than an agreement between man & woman – it involves 3 – man/woman/God. D. Divorce is NOT permissible EXCEPT in case of fornication. Mt. 19:9 1. Conclusion: if a man divorces wife b/c of fornication – he does not commit adultery if he chooses to marry another person. 2. Conclusion: The man who marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. II. More instructions on marriage – 1 Cor. 7. A. In 1 Cor. 6 – Paul deals with sexual expression outside the marriage relationship. 1. Some in Paul’s day believed it OK to engage in fornication w/temple prostitutes – to satisfy natural desires. Behavior condemned. 2. Chapt. 7 deals with flip side. a) Is celibacy to be preferred? Celibacy while married? b) Is separation an option? c) Should Christian separate from unbelieving mate? 3. Important: Remember 1 Cor. Paul dealing w/specific questions the Corinthians had raised. 4. Paul no where altering Jesus’ teaching in Mt. 19:9. Everything taught here harmonizes with law of Christ! 5. Those who come to 1 Cor. 7 looking for an out in marriage WILL NOT find one here! B. 7:1-9 – celibacy is not “holy” in & of itself. 1. self control has its advantages – 7:1, 8, 26-28 – esp 7:28 a) 7:32-34 – can allow one to be free of pressing concern – celibacy left Paul’s life reasonably uncluttered. b) But yet…it referred to as a gift – 7:6-7 c) Some men must work w/in confines of marriage – some don’t have to. 2. Those who are married have a responsibility. a) 7:2 – to avoid fornication b) 7:3 – each spouse has affection due them. c) 7:4 – each spouses’ body belongs to the other. Can’t take from them what is legally & morally theirs. d) 7:5 – each mate has resp to provide for needs of each other. 1) Failure? Guilty of sin of depraving & defrauding the other. 3. 7:10-16 – spirit’s instructions to the married. a) 7:10 – do not consider divorcing – this is a lifelong relationship. 1) Remember husband/wife bound for life. Rom. 7:2-3 2) Marriage is not a TRIAL run. b) Rather – it is a permanent institution in eyes of God & to those who honor God. 4. What about separation? a) It is a sin for the same reason as divorce. b) Does 7:10 deal w/separation? 1) “leave” here from same Grk wd in Mt. 19:6 2) 7:11 – when this person leaves is she married/unmarried? c) 1 Cor. 7:5 – only passage in Bible dealing w/separation. 1 reason given – fasting/prayer. Separate for any other reason? SIN! d) Even w/this – there are conditions! 1) “with consent” (Both must agree) 2) “for a time” (not an indefinite time period) 3) “come together again” (not to be permanent) e) In case of abuse? No one denies right to defend self. Always look for opportunity to reconcile. 5. 7:12-16 – those in mixed marriages. (Believers married to nonbelievers) a) 7:12-13 – no option given to believer to divorce unbelieving mate. b) Why? 7:13-14 – believer may bring unbeliever to salvation. 1) Stay together? Family relationship continues. 2) One man; one woman; father & mother w/children. God’s designed family. c) 7:15 – if unbeliever content to stay in marriage – then believer has no right to terminate marriage. 1) What about “not under bondage?” 2) Usage of “bondage” different Grk phrase than in 7:39 & Rom. 7:2. By definition: phrase means “is not a slave.” 3) Nothing in this context indicates phrase “not under bondage” refers to remarriage. 4) Unless context defines the expression – we have no right to devise our own definition. d) Not under the bondage of: 1) the “duty” of 1 Cor. 7:3-4 2) Christian not called to subject self to abuse in order to stay w/a nonbeliever. 3) Believer NOT a slave & doesn’t have to accept demands of one leaving. C. Throughout 1 Cor. 7 – there is no hope, no promise, no mention, or no word of remarriage. 1. 7:11 – only mention of remarriage – to remain unmarried. 2. 7:14-16 – who does the leaving? Not the Christian! 3. 7:39 – marriage is a lifelong commitment – DEATH breaks bond – not desertion. Conclusion: A. It is a fact that bible teaching on this matter has been neglected for last few generations. 1. God has spoken plainly on matter of divorce. B. Mk. 8:36-37 – nothing in this life as important as your soul. 1. Yet many fool self daily – not willing to work at making marriages better. 2. When problems come in marriage – must fully commit self to working out problem in godly fashion. C. Somewhere wife has husband cheating on her. D. Somewhere children subjected to constant fighting of parents – wonder when it will all end – so can have happy family again. E. Somewhere two people more willing to commit adultery rather than work out problem in marriage. 1. Ought not be so. Don’t have to. F. Make commitment that you will serve God w/all heart & learn to be His kind of person. G. Not a FP lesson. Meant for mature in Christ. 1. But ALL need to consider these principles. Young or old. 2. How is your relationship w/God? H. Get it started today! I N V I T A T I O N STATISTICS ON CHILDREN: Children who have experienced a divorce often score worse on measures of self esteem, psychological adjustment, academic achievement, and emotional and behavioral problems than do children living in intact families or even children living with single mothers who have never been married. Children in disruptive families are more likely than those in intact families to drop out of high school. ¼ of children in America have no father in the home to welcome them at birth. Only 41% of today’s children will grow up in a 2 parent home. Each year, almost 1 million children are left with one parent b/c of divorce. “Studies increasingly show that children from what were once called “broken homes” are more likely to be broken themselves: more likely to drop out of school, become pregnant, and seek divorce in their own marriages.” (USA TODAY WEEKEND) STATISTICS ON MEN: Men who are separated or divorced receive hospital psychiatric care 20 times more frequently than married men. Men who divorce heighten their risk of cancer about as much as if they had taken up smoking a pack or more of cigarettes per day. Divorce now ranks as the # 1 factor linked with suicide rates in large US cities.