Improving Relationships: in Marriage

2002058

Topic # 8053

Introduction:

A. Improving relationships: series continues.

B. Marriage/family ridiculed.

1. extreme statements. Many have worked hard to damage/weaken/and undermine the family in the last 50 years.

2. See high divorce rates; intact marriages struggling w/pornography; drinking; infidelity.

3. These things affect men & women in the Lord’s church in too many cases.

C. We would all do well to remember marriage has been created/designed by God. Genesis 2

1. not good for man to be alone.

2. marriage intended to bring happiness – not misery.

3. to be an exclusive relationship – where each partner leaves & cleaves and become as one flesh.

4. Genesis 2:18; 21-24

5. That’s God’s design for marriage. But for any marriage to be successful, the husband/wife must build their relationship w/God & each other.

D. Could spend time discussing very practical ways to improve marriage relationship:

1. being devoted to each other.

2. being willing to let little things go.

3. Listening

4. Helping each other w/weaknesses.

E. But…think things need to be taken just a little deeper. We must realize the roles God has given each of us in marriage!

1. Once we realize what our roles are and begin fulfilling them – the rest will take care of itself!

F. Key: Each partner realizing their distinct roles. Problems result when:

1. one or both ignorant of the roles they are to play.

2. one or both choose to rebel against the roles God created for them.

3. It all comes back to this.

G. Want to improve your marriage? Instill the godly principles we’ll talk about today in your marriage.

I. How can a husband improve his marriage?

A. Realize YOU are the leader of your home!

1. YOU must have the backbone & wherewithal to lead your family.

2. What does it mean to lead the family? How can one fulfill the role in a godly manner?

B. 1 Pet. 2:21-22 – lead from a standpoint of moral purity. Follow Jesus!

1. lead by example! This commands respect!

2. See Phil. 2:15; Psa. 34:2; 119:1 Your wife has every right to demand moral purity.

C. Being positively involved w/family.

1. Don’t stand around…bark out orders…never get involved!

a) I don’t have time; I’ve got to work; hobbies; friends

b) NO EXCUSE!

2. Lk. 9:23 – Jesus – take up your cross & follow me.

a) Jesus didn’t stand back in heaven…bark orders.

b) Came to earth; lived the life; pleaded “follow me.”

c) Get in the trenches/encourage family to follow your example! Get involved!

D. Lead by serving.

1. Mt. 20:28 – Christ says Christians to be servant leaders!

a) See also Jhn. 13:3-17; esp 13-15. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.

2. Don’t think for a moment you got married so wife could serve you. Big hindrance to relationships!

a) Prop feet up…fix supper woman. Get house cleaned up.

b) Didn’t get married so wife could do chores/satisfy only YOUR needs.

3. YOU lead by serving!

E. Demonstrates unconditional love. Eph. 5:25

1. In marriage, one gives self up. No longer live for self,…but for wife!

2. 5:26-27 – unconditional love.

a) even when love-light grows dim…not same woman she used to be.

b) Does Jesus love us only when we’re w/o blemish?

1) love makes possible our cleansing – so He may see us w/o blemish.

2) 5:25 – love between hus/wife should be like Christ & the church!

3. Do your love your wife just the way she is?

F. 1 Pet. 3:7 – leads by tender kindness.

1. Be understanding of her. This = learning process.

2. Treat her w/tender care & consideration. She is delicately and slenderly constructed.

3. Honor her; become her protector & support. Maintain & provide for her.

4. Eph. 4:32 – applies to husbands!

G. Guarantee you do these things; you’ll improve the marriage relationship!

II. How can a wife improve her marriage?

A. Responds voluntarily to leadership of her husband.

1. 1 Pet. 3:1-6. What if Sarah had not responded positively to Abraham’s leadership?

a) 3:5-6 – this is the godly attitude God expects wives to have!

2. Phil. 2:5-6 – Jesus responded voluntarily to the Father’s plan of salvation.

a) didn’t complain. Happy to do it. Because of His love.

b) Wives…look to Jesus as an example!

3. Involves submissiveness.

a) simply an acknowledgement or respect for God’s designated line of authority.

b) Doesn’t mean that wife cannot express disagreement or give advice. But…in end must respond to husband’s leadership.

4. Husbands…easier for the wife to serve/submit if you’re being Christ-like in the relationship!

B. Heb. 12:2 – responds joyfully.

1. Look to Jesus! Didn’t grumble; complain about the cross. Why? Knew that this is the will of the Father.

2. Some women submit: but let you know about it.

a) bitterness; begrudging in nature.

3. Needs to be a spirit of personal joy – in fulfilling one’s role in the home!

a) no joy? No happy home!

C. Responds with honor.

1. Phil. 2:9 – look at Christ.

a) submission of Jesus – resulted in honor.

b) Submission is not degrading – but honorable!

2. See also Pro 31:28-31 – when she submits – she to be held in honor!

Conclusion:

A. Relationships in marriage will improve when both partners work together to grow up in Christ.

1. husbands…when you are the Christ-like leader in your home – it’s so much easier for your wife to respond!

2. When it’s obvious to her that your very purpose in living is to love her; serve her…

3. it becomes so easier to respond to you:

a) spiritually; intellectually; emotionally; & physically.

B. Wives – 1 Peter 3:4 – a gentle/quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God.

1. This not the way of the world – but it will bring you a happy home.

C. Although popular wisdom of day says the family is dead. We know the Bible is relevant for all times – God’s plan WILL work!

D. How are you doing in your marriage relationship? More importantly, in your relationship w/God?

E. I N V I T A T I O N



Improving Relationships: in Marriage 2002058 Topic # 8053 Introduction: A. Improving relationships: series continues. B. Marriage/family ridiculed. 1. extreme statements. Many have worked hard to damage/weaken/and undermine the family in the last 50 years. 2. See high divorce rates; intact marriages struggling w/pornography; drinking; infidelity. 3. These things affect men & women in the Lord’s church in too many cases. C. We would all do well to remember marriage has been created/designed by God. Genesis 2 1. not good for man to be alone. 2. marriage intended to bring happiness – not misery. 3. to be an exclusive relationship – where each partner leaves & cleaves and become as one flesh. 4. Genesis 2:18; 21-24 5. That’s God’s design for marriage. But for any marriage to be successful, the husband/wife must build their relationship w/God & each other. D. Could spend time discussing very practical ways to improve marriage relationship: 1. being devoted to each other. 2. being willing to let little things go. 3. Listening 4. Helping each other w/weaknesses. E. But…think things need to be taken just a little deeper. We must realize the roles God has given each of us in marriage! 1. Once we realize what our roles are and begin fulfilling them – the rest will take care of itself! F. Key: Each partner realizing their distinct roles. Problems result when: 1. one or both ignorant of the roles they are to play. 2. one or both choose to rebel against the roles God created for them. 3. It all comes back to this. G. Want to improve your marriage? Instill the godly principles we’ll talk about today in your marriage. I. How can a husband improve his marriage? A. Realize YOU are the leader of your home! 1. YOU must have the backbone & wherewithal to lead your family. 2. What does it mean to lead the family? How can one fulfill the role in a godly manner? B. 1 Pet. 2:21-22 – lead from a standpoint of moral purity. Follow Jesus! 1. lead by example! This commands respect! 2. See Phil. 2:15; Psa. 34:2; 119:1 Your wife has every right to demand moral purity. C. Being positively involved w/family. 1. Don’t stand around…bark out orders…never get involved! a) I don’t have time; I’ve got to work; hobbies; friends b) NO EXCUSE! 2. Lk. 9:23 – Jesus – take up your cross & follow me. a) Jesus didn’t stand back in heaven…bark orders. b) Came to earth; lived the life; pleaded “follow me.” c) Get in the trenches/encourage family to follow your example! Get involved! D. Lead by serving. 1. Mt. 20:28 – Christ says Christians to be servant leaders! a) See also Jhn. 13:3-17; esp 13-15. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. 2. Don’t think for a moment you got married so wife could serve you. Big hindrance to relationships! a) Prop feet up…fix supper woman. Get house cleaned up. b) Didn’t get married so wife could do chores/satisfy only YOUR needs. 3. YOU lead by serving! E. Demonstrates unconditional love. Eph. 5:25 1. In marriage, one gives self up. No longer live for self,…but for wife! 2. 5:26-27 – unconditional love. a) even when love-light grows dim…not same woman she used to be. b) Does Jesus love us only when we’re w/o blemish? 1) love makes possible our cleansing – so He may see us w/o blemish. 2) 5:25 – love between hus/wife should be like Christ & the church! 3. Do your love your wife just the way she is? F. 1 Pet. 3:7 – leads by tender kindness. 1. Be understanding of her. This = learning process. 2. Treat her w/tender care & consideration. She is delicately and slenderly constructed. 3. Honor her; become her protector & support. Maintain & provide for her. 4. Eph. 4:32 – applies to husbands! G. Guarantee you do these things; you’ll improve the marriage relationship! II. How can a wife improve her marriage? A. Responds voluntarily to leadership of her husband. 1. 1 Pet. 3:1-6. What if Sarah had not responded positively to Abraham’s leadership? a) 3:5-6 – this is the godly attitude God expects wives to have! 2. Phil. 2:5-6 – Jesus responded voluntarily to the Father’s plan of salvation. a) didn’t complain. Happy to do it. Because of His love. b) Wives…look to Jesus as an example! 3. Involves submissiveness. a) simply an acknowledgement or respect for God’s designated line of authority. b) Doesn’t mean that wife cannot express disagreement or give advice. But…in end must respond to husband’s leadership. 4. Husbands…easier for the wife to serve/submit if you’re being Christ-like in the relationship! B. Heb. 12:2 – responds joyfully. 1. Look to Jesus! Didn’t grumble; complain about the cross. Why? Knew that this is the will of the Father. 2. Some women submit: but let you know about it. a) bitterness; begrudging in nature. 3. Needs to be a spirit of personal joy – in fulfilling one’s role in the home! a) no joy? No happy home! C. Responds with honor. 1. Phil. 2:9 – look at Christ. a) submission of Jesus – resulted in honor. b) Submission is not degrading – but honorable! 2. See also Pro 31:28-31 – when she submits – she to be held in honor! Conclusion: A. Relationships in marriage will improve when both partners work together to grow up in Christ. 1. husbands…when you are the Christ-like leader in your home – it’s so much easier for your wife to respond! 2. When it’s obvious to her that your very purpose in living is to love her; serve her… 3. it becomes so easier to respond to you: a) spiritually; intellectually; emotionally; & physically. B. Wives – 1 Peter 3:4 – a gentle/quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. 1. This not the way of the world – but it will bring you a happy home. C. Although popular wisdom of day says the family is dead. We know the Bible is relevant for all times – God’s plan WILL work! D. How are you doing in your marriage relationship? More importantly, in your relationship w/God? E. I N V I T A T I O N