The Bible & Self Esteem

2000009

Topic # 2203

Introduction:

A. Humbling to listen to yourself on tape. Watch yourself on video. Driver’s license picture. Willing to show that off to everyone??? (unless you’re 16)

B. There is a portrait of yourself that you always will carry that is important! It is the mental image of yourself – your self esteem.

C. Often depression occurs b/c one listens to his inner critical voice – and never refutes the distortions – which ultimately shapes one’s self portrait into a negative view.

1. ever felt that you’re unlovable?

2. a loser?

3. a failure?

4. a reject?

D. Tonight’s lesson will spend time discussing what we think of ourselves.

1. lesson not talking about ignoring sin/problems in life.

2. to many want self esteem w/o having to admit error in their life.

E. Hope that this AM’s lesson and tonight’s will be of benefit to you.

I. The Biblical Basis of Self Esteem

A. We = conditioned to discount anything we say, do, and to somewhat to put ourselves down. We are to have self esteem, a sense of worth, even a love for ourselves.

1. Mt. 22:37-39 – implied as the basis for the way we treat others.

2. Eph. 5:28-29 – the basis for the way husbands to treat their wives.

3. Rom. 12:3 – but self-esteem must be the result of sober thinking. Not meaning that we go around prideful, boastful.

B. The Bible teaches man why we should consider ourselves valuable, worthwhile.

1. B/c we created in the image of God – Gen.1:26

a) Psa. 139:13-14 – we wonderfully made.

b) Psa. 8:3-8 – we superior to rest of creation.

2. Mt. 10:29-31 – Jesus taught that the recognition of being valuable should keep us from anxiety.

3. Jesus died for all.

a) 1 Jhn. 4:9-10 – God did this on our behalf. Didn’t deserve this.

b) We were God’s enemies – but He saved us anyway – when we caught up in sin – Rom. 5:8-10.

c) Heb. 2:9 – Christ died for everyone.

4. Nothing we ever do, success/failure, no achievement/setback will ever change these 2 facts!

a) when we have problem w/self image – it = b/c we not see ourselves as God sees us.

C. Convinced that we born w/proper self esteem but that something leads to it’s distortion.

1. baby picture. HAPPY!

2. Going to look at 4 things in our thought process that can damage our self worth.

3. They’re often hard to deal with b/c they’re silent.

II. 4 Silent Assumptions that erode self esteem.

A. I must be approved by everyone, or else I am a reject & have no value.

1. This person = when any criticism/complaint raised – it is taken as an absolute personal rejection.

a) often leads person into depression or deeper into it.

2. This caused by all/nothing thinking.

a) must be met w/resounding approval – or nothing I do has any worth & I am worthless.

3. Certainly – approval = nice. Certainly disapproval can be disappointing and bitter. But….it doesn’t mean that I am worthless!

a) many seek approval for actions – when in reality the applause they receive is not an accurate gauge to judge by.

b) Pics of people praising Sadam Hussein.

4. Gal. 1:10 – what does the Bible have to say about this?

a) we should not be so worried about pleasing men as we should God.

b) If we pleasing to God – we will be pleasing the right kind of people.

c) Ultimately: only God’s opinion of us matters.

B. I must be loved by someone or else I am an unlovable reject.

1. Message in pop culture: not loving; not living.

2. Another example of “all or nothing” thinking. Some feel that they can never find happiness alone.

3. finding someone to spend rest of life w/is a very desirable aspect of life.

a) but – does not guarantee happiness/worth.

b) How? 50% of all new marriages wind up in divorce.

c) Women in particular are vulnerable to this idea – often seeking to marry the first person that comes along – w/o considering long term aspects.

C. If I do not perform as well as others – then I am a complete failure.

1. ever been anxious b/c you can’t match the accomplishments/abilities of others?

a) Bible example of this: Num. 13:31-33

b) Let their size, strength, & reputation of Canaanites stop them.

2. Don’t let this attitude stop you in life.

3. often: we fearful about teaching others or preaching b/c we think we can’t do it w/same talent as others.

4. Mt. 25:24-30 – why was the one talent man condemned?

a) not b/c he had only 1 talent.

b) B/c he allowed this to intimidate his into doing absolutely nothing!

c) Cf., 24-25.

5. Must realize: there will always be people who are:

a) more talented

b) pretty

c) stronger than you.

6. 2 Cor. 10:12 – Paul warns against comparing ourselves to others. Remember….God looks at you as being as important as everyone else.

D. If I fail in anyway – then I am a complete failure.

1. Perfectionism – single greatest enemy to self esteem.

a) many fall prey to it & consider themselves totally worthless.

b) On the job; raising children; in spiritual life.

2. Often, at least for awhile, desire to never fail motivates one to a high level of achievement.

a) then….failures begin to b/c glaring & minimize the positives and maximize the negatives.

b) This = negative spiritual consequences.

c) Those who fall prey to this mindset can b/c reluctant to b/c Christians b/c they feel they can’t “measure up” or that they will “blow it.”

3. Many sincere Christians struggle w/depression b/c they still “sin.” They feel not worthy of salvation.

4. What does the Bible say?

a) not a Christian b/c you afraid that you’ll “mess up?” You’ve already blown it. You’ve sinned – Rom. 3:23.

b) Issue is: will you accept God’s promise to remove those sins?

c) Afraid you won’t measure up? No one but Christ ever will.

d) As far as commitment – God will work through you & in you – Phil. 2:12-13.

5. If you a Christian torturing yourself w/doubt – remember that you saved through faith in what Christ has done – not by faith in your own perfect performance.

a) issue is not: “will I fail, sin?”

b) issue is: “how do I respond to my sins?” 1 Jhn. 1:8-9

c) Lk. 18:9-14 – 2 paths in life

1) one: claim your perfect

2) two: confess you are a sinner. Which to you choose?

Conclusion:

A. We must learn to interpret/replace our negative thought patterns.

1. identify the silent assumption that is the basis of marred self image.

2. don’t have an all or nothing approach.

3. don’t base your assumptions on how you compare to others, perfectionism, or on the approval of others.

B. There isn’t much I can do to change the way I sound on tape, look on video. Isn’t much I can do to change that DL photo.

1. w/God’s help, however, as I take every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ – I can change the inner picture of myself.

2. Let us understand the worth that we have as the bearers of God’s image and the objects of His love.

C. This why it so tragic to be lost.

1. God created you to bear His image – when you dirtied that image – He sent His Son to die for you.

2. All that & you still won’t come to Him?

D. I N V I T A T I O N



The Bible & Self Esteem 2000009 Topic # 2203 Introduction: A. Humbling to listen to yourself on tape. Watch yourself on video. Driver’s license picture. Willing to show that off to everyone??? (unless you’re 16) B. There is a portrait of yourself that you always will carry that is important! It is the mental image of yourself – your self esteem. C. Often depression occurs b/c one listens to his inner critical voice – and never refutes the distortions – which ultimately shapes one’s self portrait into a negative view. 1. ever felt that you’re unlovable? 2. a loser? 3. a failure? 4. a reject? D. Tonight’s lesson will spend time discussing what we think of ourselves. 1. lesson not talking about ignoring sin/problems in life. 2. to many want self esteem w/o having to admit error in their life. E. Hope that this AM’s lesson and tonight’s will be of benefit to you. I. The Biblical Basis of Self Esteem A. We = conditioned to discount anything we say, do, and to somewhat to put ourselves down. We are to have self esteem, a sense of worth, even a love for ourselves. 1. Mt. 22:37-39 – implied as the basis for the way we treat others. 2. Eph. 5:28-29 – the basis for the way husbands to treat their wives. 3. Rom. 12:3 – but self-esteem must be the result of sober thinking. Not meaning that we go around prideful, boastful. B. The Bible teaches man why we should consider ourselves valuable, worthwhile. 1. B/c we created in the image of God – Gen.1:26 a) Psa. 139:13-14 – we wonderfully made. b) Psa. 8:3-8 – we superior to rest of creation. 2. Mt. 10:29-31 – Jesus taught that the recognition of being valuable should keep us from anxiety. 3. Jesus died for all. a) 1 Jhn. 4:9-10 – God did this on our behalf. Didn’t deserve this. b) We were God’s enemies – but He saved us anyway – when we caught up in sin – Rom. 5:8-10. c) Heb. 2:9 – Christ died for everyone. 4. Nothing we ever do, success/failure, no achievement/setback will ever change these 2 facts! a) when we have problem w/self image – it = b/c we not see ourselves as God sees us. C. Convinced that we born w/proper self esteem but that something leads to it’s distortion. 1. baby picture. HAPPY! 2. Going to look at 4 things in our thought process that can damage our self worth. 3. They’re often hard to deal with b/c they’re silent. II. 4 Silent Assumptions that erode self esteem. A. I must be approved by everyone, or else I am a reject & have no value. 1. This person = when any criticism/complaint raised – it is taken as an absolute personal rejection. a) often leads person into depression or deeper into it. 2. This caused by all/nothing thinking. a) must be met w/resounding approval – or nothing I do has any worth & I am worthless. 3. Certainly – approval = nice. Certainly disapproval can be disappointing and bitter. But….it doesn’t mean that I am worthless! a) many seek approval for actions – when in reality the applause they receive is not an accurate gauge to judge by. b) Pics of people praising Sadam Hussein. 4. Gal. 1:10 – what does the Bible have to say about this? a) we should not be so worried about pleasing men as we should God. b) If we pleasing to God – we will be pleasing the right kind of people. c) Ultimately: only God’s opinion of us matters. B. I must be loved by someone or else I am an unlovable reject. 1. Message in pop culture: not loving; not living. 2. Another example of “all or nothing” thinking. Some feel that they can never find happiness alone. 3. finding someone to spend rest of life w/is a very desirable aspect of life. a) but – does not guarantee happiness/worth. b) How? 50% of all new marriages wind up in divorce. c) Women in particular are vulnerable to this idea – often seeking to marry the first person that comes along – w/o considering long term aspects. C. If I do not perform as well as others – then I am a complete failure. 1. ever been anxious b/c you can’t match the accomplishments/abilities of others? a) Bible example of this: Num. 13:31-33 b) Let their size, strength, & reputation of Canaanites stop them. 2. Don’t let this attitude stop you in life. 3. often: we fearful about teaching others or preaching b/c we think we can’t do it w/same talent as others. 4. Mt. 25:24-30 – why was the one talent man condemned? a) not b/c he had only 1 talent. b) B/c he allowed this to intimidate his into doing absolutely nothing! c) Cf., 24-25. 5. Must realize: there will always be people who are: a) more talented b) pretty c) stronger than you. 6. 2 Cor. 10:12 – Paul warns against comparing ourselves to others. Remember….God looks at you as being as important as everyone else. D. If I fail in anyway – then I am a complete failure. 1. Perfectionism – single greatest enemy to self esteem. a) many fall prey to it & consider themselves totally worthless. b) On the job; raising children; in spiritual life. 2. Often, at least for awhile, desire to never fail motivates one to a high level of achievement. a) then….failures begin to b/c glaring & minimize the positives and maximize the negatives. b) This = negative spiritual consequences. c) Those who fall prey to this mindset can b/c reluctant to b/c Christians b/c they feel they can’t “measure up” or that they will “blow it.” 3. Many sincere Christians struggle w/depression b/c they still “sin.” They feel not worthy of salvation. 4. What does the Bible say? a) not a Christian b/c you afraid that you’ll “mess up?” You’ve already blown it. You’ve sinned – Rom. 3:23. b) Issue is: will you accept God’s promise to remove those sins? c) Afraid you won’t measure up? No one but Christ ever will. d) As far as commitment – God will work through you & in you – Phil. 2:12-13. 5. If you a Christian torturing yourself w/doubt – remember that you saved through faith in what Christ has done – not by faith in your own perfect performance. a) issue is not: “will I fail, sin?” b) issue is: “how do I respond to my sins?” 1 Jhn. 1:8-9 c) Lk. 18:9-14 – 2 paths in life 1) one: claim your perfect 2) two: confess you are a sinner. Which to you choose? Conclusion: A. We must learn to interpret/replace our negative thought patterns. 1. identify the silent assumption that is the basis of marred self image. 2. don’t have an all or nothing approach. 3. don’t base your assumptions on how you compare to others, perfectionism, or on the approval of others. B. There isn’t much I can do to change the way I sound on tape, look on video. Isn’t much I can do to change that DL photo. 1. w/God’s help, however, as I take every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ – I can change the inner picture of myself. 2. Let us understand the worth that we have as the bearers of God’s image and the objects of His love. C. This why it so tragic to be lost. 1. God created you to bear His image – when you dirtied that image – He sent His Son to die for you. 2. All that & you still won’t come to Him? D. I N V I T A T I O N